Reading by the River

October 6, 2017

Holy crap you guys, the whole town wants to work here. I’ve done a dozen job interviews today alone. Word must have gotten out that we just accost puppies and kittens in our pajamas all day, in a cozy living room with endless bakery, wearing elastic waisted pants. Also there’s always a dog to blame it on when your IBD is flaring up from the bakery and you can’t hold back. I have become a pro job interviewer, “tell me about a time when you stole money from your job.” “How long have you been drug addicted?” “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”It’s these sorts of leading questions that really get to the heart of a person.In between job interviews I saw every inch of 25 patients. Drew their blood gave vaccines cleaned out their ears. The usual. At lunch I sat on a tree that fell over the water by the graffiti’d concrete and beer cans floated by. People who drink coors light by the river are more likely to litter than people who read books by the river. My mom went to the doctor for a recheck, 13 days post car accident, and found out her pelvis was broken in two places and they hadn’t even known. Doctors are just regular, fallible humans that have spent years creating enormous egos. There is probably a medical term that means “oh crap we missed that.” There is one for “oh crap we caused that.” It’s called “iatrogenic.” Or the word “idiopathic,” which means “oh crap we can’t figure it out.”In this way you can have no idea what you’re doing or admit to causing the problem, all while still sounding like a genius and getting paid like a pro athlete (the real heroes).“It turns out that your idiopathic empty bank account is actually iatrogenic.”“Thank you doctor!”What a clever system. Ok, my wife is yelling at me, I have to go be a husband! I love you. Happy weekend. Here are the pictures of the day.